分手戀人,最好變為什麼關係?(4/9節目話題)

Friend is the best option, since they are people I care about.

I prefer not to hang out with them (group or individually) until I can fully let go of the past, a process that can take a few years.
My Radio 香港人網- 加拿大版

http://www.facebook.com/wall.php?id=135345649427#/group.php?gid=135345649427
生活除了衣食住行,還有相處。可能窮一生也愕愕,分手例子中發現自已的不足是在幾年後,,每段戀情都學了一些,最後學到個‘誠’字。
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本帖最後由 蛋蛋 於 5-9-2009 09:32 編輯

从8月25号到9月4号回国和她发生了一大段风风雨雨后,我反而觉得, 分手恋人,最好的关系就是:


没 有 关 系~~~~~~~~~~~
4# 豬頭瑋


Agree x 2

我會視他為朋友, 始終大家相識過,都係一種緣份. 閒不中一個電話或message 都無問題. 但我覺得就做唔到知己, 始終都會顧及現時我與他的伴侶感受吧!
做朋友..... 有時我覺得係一廂情願, 為了免除尷尬的一種說法
如果是分手戀人,只做通訊朋友;不排除會再造戀人,
如果是分手配偶,做回親切朋友,不排除會再造夫妻,
hyminalmay 發表於 5-9-2009 01:06
Absolute agree .......
新教倫理與資本主義精神, 馬克斯·韋伯
http://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/Max_Weber
愛的藝術, 佛洛姆 ﹝The Art of Loving, Erich Fromm﹞
http://www.hkreporter.com/talks/thread-752855-1-2.html
見咗面至少都打聲招呼好喎,
做見面打招呼朋友啦。
人不搖滾枉少年!

本帖最後由 MSZ-006 於 5-9-2009 15:15 編輯

In my humble opinion, the after separated relationship would depend on the cause of separation.

If the separation is not because of 3rd party's involvement, all kinds of further development should be possible.

There is compromise of several factors to from a successful courtship relationship, including time, place, environment, life stage, and psychological status.

Most of the time, the separation or unsuccessful formation may due to insufficient of one or more of these factors.

Hence, it is wise for both party to consider whether there is still a room for possible of any kinds of relationship (afterwards restoring the stability of emotion in mind of course).

The time in life cycle of courtship development is different for M and F.  Most men will quickly get involve love feeling in courtship cycle, while women may need more time before involvment of feeling of loving.

The  concept of "Lovemap" may be helpful to explain the situation.
(Money, John (1986). Love Maps - Clinical Concepts of Sexual/Erotic Health and Pathology, Paraphilia, and Gender Transpostition in Childhood, Adolescence, and Maturity. New York: Prometheus Books. ISBN 0-8290-1589-2)

"........A lovemap can be shaped by both positive and negative factors, things that attract or repel the person whose erotic tastes are being mapped. For reasons that are not always easy to understand, one person may be attracted to people of a particular gender, with a particular physical characteristic, with particular personality traits, and so forth. One may also find certain characteristics so threatening or objectionable that it strongly mitigates against an erotic attraction being manifested.

A lovemap can be shaped by environmental factors that facilitate the formation of an erotic bond, or that enhance or diminish erotic response. For instance, some people may bond strongly to people with whom they share a crisis situation. Some people may find their erotic responses muted in the presence of intimidating environmental factors (observant elders or nosy neighbors, for instance).........."

To confine the thread's topic in short, it is wise to learn and understand the reason(s) behind the separation, so as to improve the situation next time, and need not to exclude the possibility of restoration of such broken relationship afterwards mutual understand and acceptence via communication of the problematic issues.
新教倫理與資本主義精神, 馬克斯·韋伯
http://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/Max_Weber
愛的藝術, 佛洛姆 ﹝The Art of Loving, Erich Fromm﹞
http://www.hkreporter.com/talks/thread-752855-1-2.html
點頭之交
16# MSZ-006
現在寫出來看似蕭灑,當中過程很反複,朋友說愛得深恨得切;你現在不恨他那証明你已不愛他了,好了,你放下了…心想:是這樣嗎?感激朋友的關心和安慰,但內心深處發現了些不同…
分手初期滿腦都是他的不該,整天尋找不該的故事,氣難下…最後寫了一封信給他,數說他的不該;他給我回信:感謝我曾給他快樂的日子三年,不快樂的日子三天!
此後,我們做了通訊朋友,平凡而珍貴。
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  • MSZ-006